Crazy Brits Andy Elson and Colin Prescott have been strapping themselves into a freezer this week in preparation for a trip into space in what effectively amounts to nothing more than a big balloon.

The attention-seeking pair intend to suspend themselves from a helium-filled bag, drifting harmoniously through the skies until they reach a happy altitude of about 132,000 feet (25 miles). With next to nothing to sustain them throughout this ill-advised quest the optimistic duo will exist solely on controlled portions of ëlow residue food' that they must eat beforehand while their raging thirsts will be quenched by “elemental drinks” to be consumed once aboard.

For the uninitiated and earth-bound among us “low residue foods” translates as meat, cheese and peeled potatoes. And although vegetable sauces are strictly off the mile-high menu, mercifully, for the sake of variety, eggs, prawns and white bread are allowed. Not that it matters of course, because as Bushel Box probes deeper into the scientific realities of this distressing voyage it soon becomes apparent that dietary concerns will be the least of their worries.

In fact Bushel Box feels that a few minor details should now be brought to light, such as the fact that once over 33,000ft, it will be impossible to breathe unaided and indeed, once over 44,OOOft, well, that's when blood starts to boil. Certainly oxygen and a pressure suit should overcome these little hitches but if, for example, the pressure suit should fail, then according to balloon-flight veteran Brian Jones, you are in very big trouble indeed. “We have done some pretty vivid demonstrations of putting half a pint of water in a decompression chamber and decompressing it to 100,000ft,” he chirps. “The water boils and explodes in less than half a second and then just disappears. Scary stuff!” Indeed.

Apparently the view more than compensates for these small concerns. “The sky goes black when you look up at just over 60,000ft so from then on, when they look up they are looking into the blackness of space instead of the blue sky. From 132,000ft, assuming that they get there, they will also see the curvature of the earth,” he merrily continues.

Gripping stuff, but while the splendour of this planet may make up for, and indeed be proportionate to the hideous risks involved, the lack of vegetable sauce, quite clearly won't. Although perhaps the most disturbing news to come out of this little episode is the fact that both men (apparently) for the duration of the 12 hour-flight will be safely ensconced in nappies.

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