That’s one supposed to eat nowadays? You can’t have beef, which may in fact be horse, which therefore may contain the chemical bute.

Don’t go near turkey – wasn’t there an outbreak of avian flu linked to Hungarian farms some years back?

You can’t touch cucumber, or beansprouts, or anything else which may or may not have caused the E. coli outbreak two years ago.

And now we’re hearing we shouldn’t eat lettuce, raspberries or any other fresh produce that might possibly give you the norovirus (see page 6).

So what should we eat? Surely only mechanically created food that’s been produced in a sterilised laboratory. Oh wait – GM’s off the menu too.

Has the world gone mad? These headlines might seem like good news for organics, but they’re bad for everyone else. Once again a single study has made the news and sent the message out that eating fruit and veg might in some way be harmful for you. Well not eating it is a great deal worse.

It’s pretty simple to wash fresh produce before you eat it, just like you’d boil an egg or fry a steak rather than eat it raw.

Nobody is taking food safety lightly, but sometimes you just wonder where it’s all going to end. Let’s hope consumers can see sense.